I am a Consumer Whore

I went running this morning. I used a treadmill and I didn't last very long, due to being incredibly out of shape, but the run was still enough to leave my brain flooded with endorphins for a few hours in the morning and early afternoon. I also noticed that it was exceptionally warm out today, so I decided that I would go out and get lunch while wearing a T-shirt without a jacket. When you can go get lunch without a jacket on December 31st, you go get lunch without a jacket.

I've been watching a lot of Footba'al lately, so I've soaked up hours of good, wholesome, American advertising. With my runner's high in full effect and an empty stomach, I knew that I was in the ideal condition to do my American duty. I was going to stimulate the economy by doing what the commercials told me to do.

And so I bought a Taco Bell Touchdown $5 Buck Box.

Congratulations, Don

When Don Treadwell stepped in as interim head coach for Michigan State while Mark Dantonio was in the hospital, there was a lot of speculation about how his success could lead him to a non-interim (outterim?) head coaching position in the future. The future is now (and nary a hula hoop in sight). I am happy for Don. He'll be coaching at his alma mater, a school that won its conference championship this year (yeah, it's the MAC championship, but it's still a championship), and I think MSU's success against Wisconsin this season is a sign that he can do the job.

I was talking to someone (I forget whom) earlier this year about the possibility of Treadwell leaving and his feeling (I believe it was a he) was that the loss of a coordinator would be a real test of the strength of MSU's football program. I agreed. The team reaches bowl games consistently. It recruits respectably and develops those recruits beyond their expected potential. If MSU can stay at that level after Treadwell's departure, it will prove that the program is strong. If the team falters, well, hopefully we'll find a way to get it together again without another Williams-Smith Era of Excruciatingly Bad Football.

The President is behind the times

Blogger has apparently supported jump links for over a year and I just found out about it today. D'oh. I've gone back and updated all of my lengthier posts to use them, so there shouldn't be any more garbage like this cluttering up the main page.

Also, I took advantage of another feature that Blogger added months ago and checked my blog stats today. I now have conclusive evidence that I am not the only person who has visited my blog. The page hit count is pathetically low, but it is nevertheless greater than I expected. Perhaps people were looking for a San Diego Flute Guild blog and guessed poorly.

Casting my vote

If they aren't willing to use "East" and "West," the Big Twelve Ten should call their divisions "Big Two" and "Little Eight."

Foortbrawwgh 2010

I have resolved to watch at least a quarter of every bowl game this year. I highly doubt that I will be able to meet that resolution, given that I intend to go visit people at some point in the next two weeks rather than spending all of my time on the couch, but I will do my best.

This post will be updated with impressions of each game.

Spider/Centipede Log

Keeping score.

• 2010-12-15: 2 spiders.
• 2010-12-16: 1 spider.
• 2010-12-17: 2 spiders.
• 2010-12-28: 1 silverfish (a new challenger approaches).
• 2011-01-01: 1 spider so big that I thought it was a small centipede when I first saw it.
• 2011-01-05: 1 spider.
• 2011-01-06: 1 centipede.
• 2011-01-09: 1 spider. The really frustrating thing is that I have no idea what they're eating, so I can't control them by cutting off their food supply. It seems like I just have more centipedes and spiders.
• 2011-01-11: 2 spiders.
• 2011-01-12: 4 spiders. I got a call from the producers of some show on A&E, asking if I wanted to do a guest spot.
• 2011-01-13: 2 spiders. Have you ever used the toilet and gotten up to discover that there was a spider sitting on the underside of the lid? I have now. They look like they could be fiddlebacks, too...
• 2011-01-18: 2 spiders.
• 2011-01-20: 1 spider.
• 2011-01-22: 1 silverfish.

Holiday Fear

Let's get to the point.

I sometimes use tvguide.com to see what's on TV.

What the hell is that?

Giving up; moving on

I just saw a commercial for pistachios where a Keyboard Cat doppelganger cracked a pistachio open while playing the keyboard.

I'm gonna go invent a new subculture that hasn't been ruined yet.

First snow 2010

My life is consistent.

King of the Microphone #2

Today, my two pieces of junk mail from Chase Bank were nearly identical. Two differences stood out:

• One letter and envelope had darker blue ink than the other.
• The interest rate on one of the offers was four percentage points higher.

For reals.

Cats eat birds

Roflroflroflroflroflroflroflrofl.

Also, lololololololololololololololololol.

I'm probably going to end up rambling about football all day anyway

I was surprised to learn that Kirk Herbstreit has four kids.

I don't think I can afford to ramble about football all day today

Two sides of a sign seen during College Gameday in Columbus:

SEC IS SLOW

---

TERRELL PRYOR TAKES CELL TECH

This ain't no poker game!

Don't look at me, I just know stuff.

Football Stasisblog (2010-11-06)

My mouth is cut up, I don't feel like working, and there's football on. I don't have a fancy liveblog applet to embed, so instead, I'll just edit this list throughout the day as stuff happens (all times CDT, and probably a few minutes off due to my computer's clock being fast):

11:43 AM

• The MSU game is not on any of the Comcast stations in my service group, not even the premium channels that I don't get. I checked. Curse you, Purdue, and your geographic proximity to Chicago.
• From what I can hear on the radio, MSU has been playing a pretty mediocre game. It's good to hear Baker getting something done, though.
• Michigan/Illinois has been a battle of derps so far. Illinois coverage fail → Denard Robinson screen pass over two guys fail → Illinois rushing ball control fail. I see that Illinois scored just now, so presumably, Michigan did something wrong since I last checked.
• No, Wisconsin, you're supposed to win your remaining games to send us to the Rose Bowl. Do you really want to lose to Purdue just to spite us? Seriously, Purdue? This year? Have you considered the implications for your BCS standings? You're taking yourselves down with us...

I cannot put my finger on it now

When you find yourself recovering from minor periodontal surgery, 800mg of ibuprofen really hits the spot.

From the inbox #2

I had MSU student football tickets a couple years ago. Since then, I have received one or two short e-mails from the athletics office before every football game. Most of the e-mails are attempts to convince me to buy more tickets. I keep telling myself that I should unsubscribe, but I haven't bothered yet.

Today, I got this:

SPARTAN FANS RAISE YOUR SHIELD

Spartan Sportsmanship embodies the DIGNITY and respect that comes with being a Spartan.

- 81% of MSU Fans in the stands attend games without being intoxicated
- 82% of MSU Fans in the stands dispose of the trash they brought into parking or tailgate areas
- 97% of MSU Fans in the stands think it is acceptable for coaches and players to shake hands with their opponents after the game.


That's right: nearly one in five MSU fans comes to games hammered and/or leaves crap lying around. Plus, there are about a couple thousand people at every game who consider it unacceptable for opposing teams to shake hands with each other.

I'm glad the MSU athletics office is here to remind me from what a classy institution I received both of my degrees.

Unsubscribering...

CG rabbit... snake... what?

I saw this commercial earlier today and found it so unnerving that I stopped watching football and went grocery shopping.

Also, wow, I wasn't expecting that to work.

MSU will win forever

This will cancel out my last post, right?

MSU is doomed

Lee Corso just complimented the team during College Gameday.

Pseudonymous Coward

I got up early this morning to drop my car off at the shop (both rear windows are broken this time!). Since getting back, I've spent... it looks like two hours now browsing around the web waiting for myself to wake up.

While browsing, I happened across a bug-report-turned-forum-thread regarding Android's UI rendering performance and it has me incensed. I considered stepping in and berating most of the commenters, but I was afraid that if I did, it would make the thread even more painful to read. Instead, I am going to voice my complaints on my blog because... well, it's a blog.

If you have a problem with a computer system, file a bug report for the problem. Don't make screaming demands for a specific solution. The developers won't like your request and you probably won't be happy with their response.

No, don't go Ducks

About a month ago, I complained about Michigan State's alternate uniforms and compared them to what I remembered Oregon's uniforms looking like a couple years ago.

Before tonight's game against UCLA, ESPN showed some of the Oregon players warming up. I assumed that they were wearing semi-throw-away, warm-up-only jerseys that would be replaced by their real uniforms during the game.

Oh, dear.

Things that were in my garbage yesterday night

• Banana peel.
• Two-week-old half-onion.
• Quart of pot roast stock, with leavings.
• Dead bird.

Thank you, Lou Holtz

On Denard Robinson:

Can you imagine how many yards he'd put up if he got to go against his own defense?

Can they say that?

Remember my complaints about CBS's announcers not knowing when their mics were active during online broadcasts? While half-watching the Lions game just now, I looked up after the return from a commercial break and heard one of the announcers say, "They'll rip his head off and pour beer down the corpse."

Was that another mic gaffe, or do sports announcers have that much leeway with their language these days? I don't necessarily mind if those are words that you can say on television now, but I do like keep my knowledge of what is and isn't permissible up to date.

Happy 13th Anniversary of The END DAY!

Use your power to open the way.

Get the Janus coin!

Hey, this is level 20, okay?

Go Ducks?

Two Saturdays ago, I was at PAX, where football was not a concern. Last Saturday, the Michigan State football game was not broadcast nationally, so I could only listen to the radio broadcast on wjr.com.

I remember hearing jokes in the past about how the University of Oregon must be getting kickbacks or something from Nike for their uniforms to be so garish. Now that I can finally see what MSU's wearing this season, I have to wonder...

IKEA Update

• Number of broken sinuous spring clips: 3
• Fraction of seat where sitting down results in funny noises (post repair): 50%

Oblig.

I'm older than I've ever been
And now I'm even older
And now I'm even older
And now I'm even older
I'm older than I've ever been
And now I'm even older
And now I'm older still

TIME

IS MARCHING ON

AND TIME

IS STILL MARCHING ON

Oh, look, what's this pun doing here?

Background

I've been renting an apartment since I moved for work in January. It is technically a condominium because I am renting it from an individual owner, but it used to be part of a managed community and the building is built like a hotel. According to my neighbor, the complex was renovated and converted into condos about five years ago.

Story

There are two fans in my kitchen. One is a recirculating fan built into a range hood, clearly put in when the condo was converted. There is a second fan built into the wall just above the stove that (presumably) exhausts to the outside. It may be a bit older; it's hard to say.

Tonight, as part of an ongoing project to make my apartment stink less, I took the grate off the wall fan to clean it. When I did so, I discovered that it's the same type of fan that I have in my bathroom. It also has the same type of grate and filter, which is to say that the grate has fairly wide slits and there is no filter. I spent an hour and a half trying to clean the grease build-up off the motor, blades, and enclosure; but I don't think I succeeded to any significant extent.

Punchline

I know this seems like an awfully trivial story to have told, but I needed to vent.

(true story, though, sad to say)

King of the Microphone

Yesterday, I received not one, but two articles of junk mail from Chase Bank.

Peace, y'all.

A Definite Trend

All data from IMDb. I don't know if this violates their ToS or not, but I'm claiming fair use.

Ooh ooh ooh

The Prospect Heights Comcast service group has On the Waterfront in its free video on demand lineup right now.

The next time someone says, "I coulda been a contender," I'll actually know what they're talking about.

More than you wanted to know

This morning, I awoke to discover that I was having difficulty hearing out of my left ear. By applying eight drops of carbamide peroxide solution and flushing with warm water, I removed about half a cubic centimeter of wax. Now I am startled by words containing the letter 'S'.

And my parents wonder why I'm still single.

Money triumphs over tradition

I don't like the idea of the nationwide college football shifting dramatically just because the Big Ten got greedy. However, I do like the idea of being able to yell, "Big Tewelve!," and "Pac-0x10!" How do you pronounce hexadecimal numbers, anyway?

I am more concerned about Izzo. He emphasizes playing within a team and within his coaching system. To me, that conflicts with the superstar mentality of the NBA. He might draw interest from the players in his first season just because of the national recognition that he has gained as a coach, but I don't think he'll get away with sitting starters for, "failing to meet obligations to teammates."

Also, I don't know if he realizes that if he leaves MSU, he won't be able to set foot in Ingham County without someone trying to light him on fire. Nick Satan was only here for five years before betraying us and I still have trouble remembering that there's supposed to be a 'b' in his name.

In case it becomes significant later

I accidentally ate a small amount of raw shrimp paste today.

Everything that I have been able to look up after the fact suggests that this was a bad idea.

See, this is why people like Google

When they update their SDKs, they add features that you want, with exactly the same names that you would have given them.

I need to get my hands on an Android 2.2 device just so I can write a program that calls this... under exceptional conditions that would never actually occur, of course.

Possibly intentional?

Sun's Oracle's pseudo-man page for the GlassFish create-domain command documents the --terse option twice.

Happy Bomb20 Day!

In 1998, David Skiba recorded "Made of Shit!"

All other techstep — past, present, and future — instantly became obsolete.

Test (part 3?)

So, after many years of resisting, I now have a phone that could be described as fancy and/or schmancy.

It's kind of neat being able to check e-mail and look up maps without having a PC around, but I really miss having a full-sized or even laptop-sized keyboard. I am finding it difficult totype without committing an uncharacteridtically large number of mistakrd, for instance.

Beverage observation

When you pour Diet Mountain Mtn Dew out of a room-temperature can and into a cup, it smells like bathroom cleaner.

Pizza Bites

This didn't turn out as well as I had hoped — the crust was too thick, the sauce didn't complement the toppings, and the lox lost most of its flavor in the oven — and my inexperience with the Droid camera made it look less appetizing than it actually was, but even so:

Bagels in the morning,
Bagels in the evening,
Bagels at suppertime!
When bagels are on a pizza,
You can eat bagels anytime!

Get off my lawn

When I see a headline on Digg like, "BREAKING: Twitter Acquires Tweetie," my eyes involuntarily roll back in their sockets and I can't help but wonder how the world could possibly get any more inane.

I am officially old now.

Lots of weather tonight

Hail is more intimidating when your living room has a patio door.

I hope my car's okay.

TCM, you're so clever

Turner Classic Movies has been running a tribute to Akira Kurosawa this month (i.e., showing a bunch of his stuff every week). This Tuesday, they will be showing Rashomon and Seven Samurai.

Tonight, they're showing The Outrage and The Magnificent Seven.

I think we all know what "CBS" stands for

So, I've been watching the online feed of the MSU-Maryland game, because the CBS affiliate in the Chicago area has decided to focus on Ohio State instead.

My understanding of how local/regional commercials are supposed to work is that the national broadcaster sends everyone a continuous TV feed, along with some instructions on when the local advertisements may be inserted. The local affiliates cut to their own commercials during these spans of time, and then cut back to the national feed when time is up. The national feed usually fills this space with some extra commercials rather than just having dead air, which is why you will sometimes see brief slivers of national ads bookending local ones. I could very well be wrong — I don't work in the TV business — but that's what I've been told.

Twice, now, the online feed has spent about thirty seconds showing a pulled-back shot of the arena with some statistics overlaid. The announcers haven't been saying much during these breaks. In fact, they don't seem to realize that they're on the air at all. Instead, I've been listening to the bands play, along with occasional snippets of announcer audio like this:

• "Yep. Yep."
• "We already talked about that."
• *laughter*
• *whistling the song the band was just playing*
• "How long until we're back?"

I didn't realize TV was so hard.

Infuriatingly bad joke #2

Spent all day in the house, 'cause it snowed
Watched Alone in the Dark, even though
Time and time again, I'd seen it panned, on some web site

Stop the press

There is an active State Farm agent whose last name is Totoro.

W. t. Nix

I think the last time I saw someone try to put back a missed dunk while hanging from the rim was in the mid-1990s. That doesn't mean it hasn't happened since then, but it does mean that most people are aware you shouldn't do it.

Losing it

I moved into my condo/apartment 6 weeks ago. A few household items were left behind by the previous tenant and/or the landlord: a dish rack, a trash can, a shower curtain, etc.

Just now, while watching the MSU-Purdue basketball game, I glanced at my patio and said, "I have a grill?"

I need to stop getting home from work after dark.

Batman and Robin

You may have heard of this movie. It was on TNT tonight. Having noticed a definite downhill trend in the three Batman movies that preceded it, and having heard claims that this movie was responsible for the lack of any live-action Batman movies for eight years or so, I decided to see just how bad it could be. It lived up to its reputation quite well, I must say. It is not the worst movie I have ever seen, but it may be worst with a $140 million budget. That's a lot of money.

I chronicled my reactions to the movie as it unfolded, in case anyone is interested:

Okay, that's it

I already tried to rationalize your decisions once, Norway. I'm not going to do it again.

Something I left out of that last post

OW, I BURNED MY HAND!

...at night.

(hopefully the last time I'll have an excuse to say that)

PROTIP #2

If you're pan-searing a steak, and you pre-heated the pan in the oven, and you notice that the oil on the pan has pooled on one side, DON'T TRY TO PICK UP THE PAN AND TILT IT WITH A BARE HAND.

Either I am too stupid to live, or I have a subconscious death wish and am a genius.

Ow.

Unwoot

I almost got a breakfast of champions today, but the server went down when I clicked the link to buy.

PROTIP

When you're putting one of those five-gallon water tanks onto a water cooler, most of the bottom of the tank will come in contact with the cooler. If you had your hand under the tank to help position it, make sure you get all five fingers out of the way before you set the tank down. Getting only four fingers out of the way is not recommended.

Why f.y.e is a better place to buy music than Best Buy

Apartment/condo-hunting dies with business hours, so I stopped by the f.y.e in Woodfield Mall this evening to burn some time. I'd tried to do the same thing at the Schaumburg Best Buy yesterday night, but it didn't go well because I wasn't able to find what I was looking for. More specifically, I wasn't able to find a recommendation-engine-defying collection of albums like this:

• Talking Heads - Talking Heads: 77
• Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
• Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
• Emperor - In the Nightside Eclipse (purchased with reservations about the band's history, but I figured I had to see what black metal sounds like sooner or later)

Unfortunately, the humorless man at the counter refused to acknowledge my deliberately baffling purchase with even a raised eyebrow. He also didn't seem amused when I pointed out that the Public Enemy CD had a plastic sleeve to keep kids from cracking it open and the Emperor CD did not.

Also, the brakes on my new used car may be failing. Or the transmission. I'm not sure which.

In Limbo

I haven't quite decided if short-notice car-hunting or short-notice apartment-hunting is the more frustrating endeavor. Until I reach a conclusion, I tentatively recommend neither.

Here we are again

Suggested slogans for the Michigan State football program:

• MSU Football: Check Back Next Year
• MSU Football: Home of the Near Miss
• MSU Football: Where Hopes Are Raised Beyond Expectation, and Then Usually Dashed

I suppose I shouldn't complain much. The team went into what was essentially a road game, against an obvious mismatch, and managed to keep it interesting for about 57 minutes. Plus, they they showed few signs of being affected by the aftermath of Glenn Winston Brawlfest 2009. A week ago, I would have said that a competitive loss to Texas Tech would be an overall victory for the program.